


I'm Not Leaving You Behind

by Silits



Category: Karneval
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gareki is a dork, Gareki is a great friend, Gareki trying to protect this smol bean, Karoku is kind of a douch, Kuronomei, M/M, Memories, Nai is a dork, They are Both Dorks, based on the manga more than the anime, gareki lowky has a crush on Nai, idk it's my first work on here, kinda sad????, lots and lots of Spoilers, nai thinks he is being left behind
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-28
Updated: 2016-07-28
Packaged: 2018-07-27 05:45:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,478
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7605934
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Silits/pseuds/Silits
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When I first found you chained up all alone back in Karasuna, I helped you escape, even if that meant loosing some of my other 'friends'. I was doing it to protect you.</p>
<p>When I went to not only steal for myself, but for you too, I was doing it to protect you.</p>
<p>  When I said I would take you to Circus to help you find Karoku, I was doing it to protect you.</p>
<p>  When I went to the Kafka mansion with Circus to get Karoku back, not knowing if I would survive, I was doing it to protect you.</p>
<p>  I'm not leaving you behind. </p>
<p>  I expect you to follow.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'm Not Leaving You Behind

**Author's Note:**

> WARNING!: spoilers for the Karneval Anime/Manga. Scenes from before and after they save Karoku are explained and depicted in this story, up to the point that 'thing' happens to Nai protecting his creator(brute)

When I first found you chained up all alone back in Karasuna, I helped you escape, even if that meant loosing some of my other 'friends'. I was doing it to protect you.

When I went to not only steal for myself, but for you too, I was doing it to protect you.

When I said I would take you to Circus to help you find Karoku, I was doing it to protect you.

When I went to the Kafka mansion with Circus to get Karoku back, not knowing if I would survive, I was doing it to protect you.

Now, as I'm packing up to leave for Kuronomei to study, I want you to know that, I am doing it to protect you.

When I saw you all chained up back in that Karasuna mansion, it was a horrid sight. I knew what it felt like to be mistreated, to be chained up, so be in someone else's control. Even with those thoughts in mind, I still decided to continue to do my business, which was going through stuff to steal. You stood there, eyes wide, twinkled in curiosity as you watched me go through bookshelves, wardrobes and drawers. I actually hadn't expected you to talk to me at all, I would have thought you would run away, cower into a corner and not come out until I left the way I had came from, but you did. You had talked to me like as if you hadn't seen me explode the ceiling and come down on a piece of transparent rope, like as if you couldn't see the outline of a gun in my jacket's pocket, like as if I hadn't seemed intimidating to you. I never thought I would have decided to help you, even though you did sort of unintentionally bribed me to do so. I helped you escaped that monsters den, and you didn't even flinch when I pulled out my fully loaded gun to shoot as we ran. Despite all that, I remember you whimpering when we both saw one of my fellow comrades get eaten by the monster, blood splattered around on the floor, as shrilled screamed escaped the other teenager, screaming my name. I remember you trembling, holding onto my arm, not knowing if we would survive. At those moments, you reminded me of myself, you showed emotions I refused to show when I was younger. I had seen myself in you. 

That night, we escaped Karasuna. That was when I pledged my whole existence, to protecting you.

We spent much time together, and you irritated me with how happy you were, and just how innocent you were. For fucks sake, you didn't even know what blood was. You had called it "weird red liquid"! Your red eyes carried such innocence, such curiosity and happiness, and I envied it all. You always wanted to try new things, you were so soft. Your eyes gleamed bright. My eyes, were hard and dark. I had seen the cruelty of the world. Sold to a ship at the age of eight, bullied and made fun of for months on that boat, survived a shipwreck and was found by a sweet young girl who took me in with her and her younger twin siblings. I didn't grow too close to them, but when the girl who had saved me was killed, I felt bubbling rage. I soon turned into a thief at the age of twelve, stole anything and everything to keep myself alive. Sure, I met others like me, but that didn't soften out the cruelty that surrounded the world like a thick fog. I had seen so many things, been used and felt emotions no one ever should. You were the sudden light in my world, you lit everything up with those soft eyes and bright smile and white hair. 

The time we were on a train after we escaped Karasuna, you had repaid me. I saved your life, and you saved mine. If it weren't for your freakish hearing, the cart that we were in would soon blow up, and everyone in the carts would die. Before that though, you had almost been shot. I remember grabbing you and harshly throwing us between two green seats of the moving train. I remember you grabbing onto my arm, as you were scared for your life. Your soft eyes had turned slightly watery, fear taking over completely, as you relied on me to save you. And I protected you, as you protected me.

The day you were getting chased, the same day I got pissed because you hadn't stayed put like I told you to. I saw you running, two men after you, and I took of as well. It was the same day that you almost got kidnapped as we walked around the street, I could only watch in terror as I was shot with a stun gun and they took you away from me. You screamed my name and you had fear written all over your face. If it weren't for that Nyanperona suit that we had stepped over during our case earlier that day, I would have lost you. That was how we came to meet one of the Circus Ships combatants. Yogi. Thanks to him, you were once again in my care, as we were still trying to find a way to look for this 'Karoku' guy you had never shut up about.

When you fell out of the ship that was thankfully parked on a field while we were playing hide and seek, I could feel fear taking over. You were trying to hide in an air vent when you went too far in and fell out of the ship, with a hard hit to your back which could have knocked you out, but it didn't. You were attacked by a Varuga, one that would have taken your pretty red eyeballs out if it weren't for Yogi and Tsukumo distracting the beast. When we all got captured, and you were the one left to just go run and hide, you stayed put, and you planted yourself on the ground. Determination was written on your face, as you declared you wouldn't leave your friends behind, even if you had met the two other blonds that very day. Just recalling you trying to pick up a rock the size of your head and throwing it to only land about one foot and a half away from you still brings a smile on my face. Right after, a sheep flew down from the ship and grabbed you to take you back inside saying "nobody had found you during our game of tag in the time limit. You have won.", relief had washed me over. Even if the others and I weren't safe, I at least knew that you were.

The same day, when we came back inside, you were so happy to see us safe, but the happiness was short lived. You had collapsed on the ground, screaming, holding your head in your hands, and you writhed on the floor in pain. The blonds had taken off to look for the turd of a captain, and left me to try and calm you down, from the pain that was too internal for anyone else to save you from. I held your hand softly, as you whimpered for help, pain had dug into your face. I was scared. I wanted to protect you from the pain, but that was only something you could only do.

Later when you had woken up, you said you didn't need me. You said I was scary and that you no longer needed me anymore. I was angry. Beyond pissed. I left you, even though I heard your loud sobs in the other room. Later I had learned that you were half a stupid animal, and that a guy had spoken to you in your dream, and he told you to tell me to go away or "you don't want him to break, do you?". I was very, very, very angry with the man who told you that in your dream. When you had told me that while we were in the room we shared, I could sense that this 'Karoku' guy was trying to keep me away from you, which defiantly wasn't happening.

That man spoke to you often, telling you things that you shouldn't know, but you always said "he is leading us to where he is!", I couldn't break your heart telling you that you were probably only being used and fed by lies. This man, was supposed to be your creator after all, you would naturally show him the respect that one would receive if they were your family member.

Some time around the surrounding days, we had gone to Karasuna with Yogi, as we played games and earned prizes. We had been attacked by one of the younger twin siblings of the girl that had taken me in when I was younger. We went to her house, and she told us a creepy story, about her killing people without knowing it. Her brother had come home, and after that, we went to sleep a few houses down, because the owners were gone. You slept with your arms wound around my arm, pulling yourself close. I slept in between you and Yogi, and let me tell you, it was very hot between there. I heard a noise outside, and both Yogi and I - who weren't sleeping because of that story we had been told earlier - went out to investigate it. I had told you to put on my sweater and run back to the city, and go straight for the ship. The red sweater I wore was too big on you, but I found it adorable as it matched with your red eyes. I ran off after, because I trusted you to go run and look for shelter. You being you, you didn't. You helped Tsubame, the girl in the set of twins from being attacked by a man, and then you ran. You weren't afraid of the blood on her hands, you only cared that she was alright and that she wasn't hurt. Both of you had been captured unfortunately, and when I saw that he had both of you in his arms, hands around your mouths, I had gotten so pissed. My blood had boiled, and my fists clenched. The metal rod that I had picked up from a surrounding building after letting you go before, had made a satisfying crack against the male's head, who ended up being a Varuga. Apparently that male had been the one that had killed Tsubaki - the girl who had saved me when I was younger. My rage grew and I could feel the sorrow want to burst from me, but I held my ground, I had to set an example for you, even when someone I knew and came to love had been killed right in front of me. That night, I had protected you, even if that meant I couldn't protect myself. 

Some days after, we went to Niji Forest, the forest of animals that you were half made of. The place was full of mirages, but you saw through every one, since you had the same senses as a full blown Niji, minus the tail, horns and wings. We didn't find Karoku there, but we found a journal with symbols and letters, something quite useless if you ask me. When we walked around, we were attacked by another Varuga, one that was long and black. You had feared for two little bunnies lives and you went out of your hiding place and protected them with your body. You surprised Yogi who had been fighting it with his swords, and the monster was going after you, so I had thrown myself in the way, and it took me instead. I was almost killed, but I had saved you, and a very busty woman had saved me. I don't think I could care any less about that matter, I had been able to protect you. But what the fuck Nai, they were two bunnies, they were littering the god damn island. Really?

The day we were in the snow mansion and I had found a gun, I knew it would become useful, and I hid it in my jacket. When we encountered a locked door underground, I had shot the door open, to revel a creepy looking room. Sure I got scolded by the 'man child', but the scene I had been able to see after the door was bursted open, it was worth it. Both you and Yogi got scared off a doll that was moving, saying it was a ghost, but you got the courage to go and open it up, to find a white looking box. You had literally carried pure evil in your hands. Once we got out, we realized that Tsukumo was in trouble. Both Yogi and I sent you two with the warm talking snowman running to find safety along with Tsukumo. Ones we had won the battle and Yogi was passed out, you came running to me, with tears in your eyes, I was so scared, I could feel my heart clench at the sight of you crying. I thought you had gotten hurt. You in a way had, but not physically, but emotionally. Tsukumo had been kidnapped. Nevertheless, you had been protected.

Later that day as we got into Circus' Second Ship, you had collapsed again as you handed me a cup of juice. You had passed out, but learned of where they were hiding your friend. The same day, as you were sleeping, Hirato had told me where he had found Tsukumo, as she came back with him. She had escaped from captivity, but had been killed with poison by a man with blue hair and a bandage around his head and his chest, the same male we would soon realize as your friend Karoku. Hirato was able to revive her with his magic, but they only told me this, because everyone knew you wouldn't have been able to stomach all that. Everyone knew you would have broken down crying and say that it was all your fault. That was how you were. We all protected you from the truth that crawled all over your legs, but it never reached your head. 

Many would say you were stupid and ignorant. But what I saw, was a selfless and very caring, and tender hearted twelve year old boy. Something a fifteen year old like me would wish to have. You had the best qualities. You could light up a room, make people laugh. You could help people with your hearing, and you loved to play with the sheep. I know you can remember the day we met Yanari. The nine year old boy who had needed comforting when he had learned that his mother had died. He had called himself a terrible son, as he wished he could do it all over again. He would have spent more time with his mom, sneak out of his room more often to see her. You had hugged him, saying it was alright, and that he had the Circus Second Ship as friends. Especially you.

The same day earlier, I remember you with a happy smile on your face, saying how much fun you had, and just how glad you were that you were spending time with all of us. You had placed goggles on my face, ones that weren't already on my head, and you said just how good they looked on me. My heart had swelled. 

It was the same day when we were being hunted. The same day a gun had been pulled at Yanari, but you had placed yourself in the line of the shot, you had refused to move. You would get hurt, so that the boy we had met wouldn't. To be honest, if both you and Yanari's lives were on the line, I would save you first. I had gone through so much to just lose you, I had pledged to keep you safe as long as I could still breath. So when Hirato had proposed me to become "one of my children", I didn't know what it had actually meant, but I had a good idea. The thought of being under that bespectacled turd's control sounded comforting, it made me feel safe, and I knew that if I joined them like he had asked me to, not only would I protect other people from becoming a victim of violence and war, but I could actually guarantee protection for you. 

When Hirato had told us no one from the Cirus' Second Ship could leave to go to the Kafka mansion to retrieve your Karoku friend, I had volunteered to go. I had saved you many nights before, you were in my care. You were my responsibility, and finding this man that was your creator would make you happy, so I would find that man to make you happy. I didn't know if I would survive going there, but then both the First and Second Ships of Circus agreed to come along, and go against the higher ups rules. They wanted to help you find Karoku along with me. By the end of the day, we had the real Karoku in our possession, and I had you safe under my supervision once again.

I would say "now I am packing to go to Kuronomei to study to be a combatant of Circus Second Ship(along with Yogi, Tsukumo, and Eva, the very busty woman), so I can actually take care of you like everyone else, so I could be on the battle field and actually feel like I'm protecting you well", but that was in the past. I am no longer packing for my trip to Kuronomei. All my memories with you take me to the future. But I will tell you, the part in which you held my hand before I left the flying ship is always running in my mind. You were sad that I was leaving, I could tell by your eyes that you thought that I, Gareki, the one who had saved you from your doom and from countless dangers, was leaving you behind. I was not leaving you behind. I was leaving to get stronger to come back to you, and care for you properly.

What is happening in the present?

I'm rocking you to the beat of my heart. 

I had left Kuronomei even after being told that if I did so, I could no longer take the Circus coarse. I had left because you had disappeared along with Karoku, who had been treating you so badly. You had protected Karoku by getting in the way of an animal with an antler that was charging for that blue haired friend of yours. You had been stabbed in the back, so deep that the injury went right through your thin and fragile body. What you had done to save Karoku made him snap out of it. That creator of yours had some sort of spell or something over him, making him want you to just disappear, he wasn't acting like himself, and when you got hurt for him, in a blink of an eye, he became the creator he was before he had been shot. Before any of this happened. Before I met you. 

He took you to a house once a woman had found you guys outside, and he got to work to trying to fix you up. You lost a lot of blood. 

You had died. You stopped breathing, your heart stopped beating, and your body started going cold. Not even the doctor that had been sent to that old woman's home could revive you. 

You know though, the body I am rocking now is warm, it is breathing, and the heart is beating. 

I may not have been able to protect you this time, but Karoku did. He revived you. He got you breathing. He got your heart beating. 

I owe him everything. I may not have known you long, almost a year tops, but I felt like I have known you for a lifetime. If it weren't for you, I would still be living a thief's life. Thank you. 

I have to go back to Kuronomei sometime. I might not be a combatant of Circus, I might just be an engineer for them. You know how good I am with machines and stuff, you always did complain that I was reading too many engineering books often. I want you to know something though.

I am not leaving you behind.

I expect you to follow.

**Author's Note:**

> Garenai will kill me with all the fluff


End file.
